Tim Minchin - Fat Children Chords & Tabs

Am             G                 F                Em
Do not feed doughnuts to your obese children
Am           G                F                   Em
You will regret it when they’re in their teens
Am                G                 F                       Em
Maccas might shut them up now that they’re seven
      F            
But they won’t forgive you, when
Em                                        Am
They’re getting picked last for PE
Bm7
Don’t you see?

Am
Boombalata motherfucker
D9                                     Dm
Have you noticed that your kids are fat?
Am                                          D7
What are you going to do about that?
Am
What are you going to do?

Am                                 D7
So you telling me that your family
Am                    D7
Has a history of obesity
                Am           D7
You got a polycystic ovary
Am                                D7
It’s just the way that God made me

Am             D7   
It’s unlikely, statistically
             Am     
To be a physical thing
               D7
But either way it don’t explain why you
               Am
Are in the cue at Burger King

             Am            D7
You can blame it on biology
             Am                    D7
You can blame your physiology
             Am                D7
You can point to genealogy
             Am                 D7
And your social anthropology
           
              Am                       D7
You can say you are an ectomorph
              Am                            D7      
That you just can’t get the kilos off
                     Bm7    
Well you can be what you wanna be
                                           E7
But stop feeding that boy KFC

     F                         
He weighs 40 kilos and he’s only three
     Bm7                                           E7
He looks like a clean-shaven Pavarotti

F                                     C
Switching to Diet Coke is not the way back
G                  
Boombalata kiddie-stuffer
        D
Your kid’s a fat, have you noticed that?
Am                   F       G
And you oughta be ashamed
             Am                F       G  
For you only have yourself to blame.

         F                                               C
Your 5 year old princess in her size 14 tutu
G                          D                   E7
Only eats pizza like that because you do
             C      
Will be dead of a heart attack
     G                                      C       G
Before your grandchildren are ten
     C                          
Perhaps you’ll consider
    G                                C        G
A cut-back on extra fries then

Am
Boombalata kiddie-stuffer
D9                                     Dm
Have you noticed that your kids are fat?
Am                                          D7
What are you going to do about that?
Am
What are you going to do?
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Am                                 D7
So you telling me that your family
Am                    D7
Has a history of obesity
                Am           D7
You got a polycystic ovary
Am                                D7
It’s just the way that God made me

Am              D7
But – and in your case
               Am                 D7
There’s a reasonably big butt
            Am                               D7
Do you think it’s an appropriate treat
                          Am            D7
The all-you-can-eat at Pizza Hut?

                 Am                   D7
There’s no excuse you silly goose
         Am             D7
For a child with a caboose
          Am                                        D7
Like a moose who’s eaten too much mousse
      Am                          D7
It’s tantamount to child abuse

                 Am                D7
Kick them off the fucking couch
    Am              D7
Unplug the Playstation
                 Am             D7
Send them down to the park
                    Am           D7
If they don’t wanna go, make ’em

Am                            D7
Tell them they have to jog
               Am                D7
Until their jogging shorts fit’em
          Am               D7
If they hesitate, ask firmly
           Am
If they still resist, hit’em

    F                                       C               
Is this what you want for your little girl and guy?
          G                                             D
These chips off the pork chop, for the toffee apples of your eye?
F                                    C
Six packs of kit cats are not the way back
G                            
Boombalata Kiddie-Stuffer
         D
Your kids are fat, did ya notice that?

Am                             F        G
And you, you ought to be ashamed
Am                                   F        G
For you have only got yourself to blame
        F                             C
Your 6 year old miniature Jabba the Hut
          G                                            D
Eating half melted Mars Bars from the folds of his gut
             C         
He'll be dead of an aneurysm
     G                                  C       G                  
Before his own children ism ten
     C
Perhaps you’ll consider
    G                                C         G
A cut-back on Taco Bell then
    C               
Perhaps you’ll consider
    G                                        C             
A cut-back on Krispy Kreme doughnuts
                        G         
And Popcorn in bucket-sized boxes
       C                            G
And microwave pizza or drive through McDonalds
       C                               G
For weeknightly dinners in front of the TV
        C                            G
And notes to the phys-ed instructor saying
                 C                                  G
Timmy has asthma but he really just gets short of breath
               C                         G
Cos he’s 35 kilos above the ideal weight
     C                  G                 C
Of 35 kilos for a nine year old boy