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117% Complete - Alex Day
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1. Sonic Doesn't Need A Story
Verse: G#m, F#m, E, D
Bridge: E, B, C#m, A (F# at the end)
Chorus: B, F#, E, F#
Intro/Outro: B
June 23rd 1991
Let loose, I knew you were born to run
Six zones, one boss, it was all I needed
Dashing, ring collecting, unimpeded
But now you're everything from half a werewolf to a race car driver
You've lost some weight and your eyes are greener than I recall
And as I understand there was a game where you became King Arthur
Bring back the days when playing Sonic was still cool
Keep your princesses cos
Sonic doesn't need a story
He runs fast and gets rings and loop-de-loops his way into your heart
Sega, learn from your mistakes
Now it's time to sit down and leave out the cutscenes cos we don't care anymore
We accepted Tails and Knuckles too
Flickies took some time but they were cute
Chaotix started to push my patience
Amy Rose was an abomination
His name could be Robotnik, but it could be Eggman, what's it matter
As long as he still has that flying egg machine
Don't let me play as him or tell me more about his dead grandfather
Just swing his marble ball and chain across the screen
Keep your Olympic games cos
Sonic doesn't need a story
He runs fast and gets rings and loop-de-loops his way into your heart
Sega, learn from your mistakes
Now it's time to sit down and leave out the cutscenes cos we don't care anymore
Don't want Silver
Don't want Dark Gaia
Don't want Rouge the bat
Don't want Blaze the cat
Don't want Shadow
Don't want Shadow
Don't want Shadow
Don't want Shadow
Hover skates are not the same as running at the speed of sound
Hover skates are not the same as running at the speed of sound
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2. I Hate Mario Kart Wii
Verse: Am, F, C, Em
Bridge: Dm
Chorus: Same as verse
I feel so confident right now
As my friends all ask me how they throw an item or utilise the drift
My character of choice is Yoshi
He can be good off-road but mostly I play him cos he's cute, I'll admit
The race starts … and I stalled!
I stalled the car again
I held A down a bit too early
And all my mates are laughing as they drive right past me
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
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And now I'm stuck in 12th place
I'm gonna lose this race; trailing in Donkey Kong's tyre tracks
So I get a power-up
I don't expect too much, but oh my god, Bullet Bill – now I'm back!
In first place in no time
And my mates can't see why Nintendo would make a game that's so unfair
They're feeling pretty angry, but I'm just princess peachy
I'm winning so I don't really care
But someone gets a blue shell!
And I crash
The kart flips over again
Why don't they put a wall there!?
Nothing I could do but watch it roll into the sea
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
I'm still in the lead
But they're catching up to me
I'll get a power-up and I'll be fine
Another banana skin
Upside-down boxes wearing thin
I think I had more fun when I was behind
This is the only game I've played
Where winning just feels lame
And losing is where all the fun takes place
And there are no red shells for me
All I have is apathy for this never-ending, three-lap funless race
The game ends – AND I'M SECOND!
I lost the race again
How did he get Invincibility!?
Fucking Waluigi stole my victory
And at this point I remember why I hate Mario Kart Wii
Everybody sing!
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3. Pokemon, What Happened to You
Verse: D, Em, G, A
Bridge: G, D, A
I remember when there were only 150 of you
Well, technically 151 if you are counting Mew, but I digress
I guess I spent the best years of my little life
Surfing Cinnabar Island to get 126 Revives
And I miss the Pokémon Center
I miss its music too
And the way that Snorlax looked like Lapras on water
Pokémon, what happened to you?
In the old days, you only got one form of every kind
I could name all the Gym Leaders, didn't even have to try
But now you've shown me Team Galactic and Dark and Steel and eggs
Oh I want my Red and Blue back when Ditto wasn't used for sex
I miss the cycling road, don't you know
I miss the music too
And I can't believe you used to be in black and white
Pokémon, what happened to you
Now Legendary means nothing to me
Because one-of-a-kind creatures add up to over thirty
And I only want three choices for my Eevee
I don't want a rival if his name is not Gary
And how the hell do you pronounce Sweecoon, Sooisine, Sweesign, Sooisoon, I don't know
I miss holding down the B button when I thought it made it easier
I miss surfing to the truck and using Strength to try and move it
I miss watching my Charmander evolve into a Charmeleon
I don't accept your Leaf Green, they'll always be Red and Blue to me
Yesterday I dreamt I was surrounded by Unown
The spelled the words "I'm sorry on behalf of Nintendo
We don't get Poffins either, and SuperContests are so-so
And the Pokédex was fine, it didn't need a radio"
I miss the Team Rocket hideout
And I miss the music too
And why have shinies if they're so impossible to find
Pokémon, what happened to you
Pokémon, what happened to you
And I'll never again experience that joy of mine
Because you are incompatible with my brand new DSi
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